As promised here is the next development in My story. This time I decided to Bullet point the three different acts and try to tone down some of the details, whilst retaining the same themes as the original draft.
- Circus Appears in Town Overnight
- Creates an unsettling/eerie vibe in the town
- Two sibling's and Mother Enter
- It's quiet, seemingly abandoned
- Faint sound of children singing, echoes around the grounds
- Approached by the owner of the Circus owner
- Whisks the parent away
- Children are drawn to a monolithic Bouncy castle
- Enter the doorway and the world goes black.
- Children awaken in a dark workshop (Half stuffed animals lie everywhere, a layer of dust covers them)
- Reams of thread is strewn across the ceiling and floors like spider webs.
- A faint bulb beings to swing
- Tiny pattering can be heard, the two children back into a corner, sister shielding brother.
- Dozens of little voices giggle and whisper in the darkness.
- Wide eyes and smiles fade in around them
- Voices begin to hum, "I've got no strings on me"
- Song gets louder and louder then stops, as heavier footsteps appear,
- The footsteps get closer and closer
- Taxidermist appears out of the void, barely lit by the failing bulb
- He inspects the children then whispers "Welcome to the Family"
- The light goes out. "Meet your brothers and sisters"
- A group of what appears to be children begin to clamber forward, over each other
- Twitching and spiraling, falling as they move. (each child, scarred and stitched together, Electrodes protruding from their skin)
- They clamber over the two children, clawing, biting, separating.
- Both brother and sister are strapped to tables.
- A bright light hangs above, blinding them
- Taxidermist stands over them, produces a knife then smiles. The camera fades to black as screams are covered over by humming and laughter.
As always some feedback would be really appreciated, as I want to get this component out of the way as quickly as possible and start designing.